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Author Topic: Some humour from around the World  (Read 757779 times)

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Re: Some humour from around the World
« Reply #1065 on: March 20, 2026, 09:47:29 pm »
The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.
Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Phil, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."
You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Phil must have experienced.
"Phil was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Phil's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."
Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Phil.
"Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Phil is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely."
All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.
A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "Hi, I'm Phil." The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife, the word is sternum."
😂😂😂😂
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Jim

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Re: Some humour from around the World
« Reply #1066 on: March 25, 2026, 05:14:26 pm »
Toilet Snakes

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Jim

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Re: Some humour from around the World
« Reply #1067 on: March 25, 2026, 07:42:34 pm »
Ever had one of your own Jim???
"Information is not knowledge, Knowledge is not wisdom, Wisdom is not truth, Truth is not beauty, Beauty is not love, Love is not music: Music is THE BEST...   
Wisdom is the domain of the Wis (which is extinct). Beauty is a French phonetic corruption of a short cloth neck ornament currently in resurgence..."
F. Zappa ... by way of Mary, the girl from the bus.

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Re: Some humour from around the World
« Reply #1068 on: March 25, 2026, 08:20:32 pm »
Only had one inside, outside toilet near my shed.....not uncommon to get 2-3 a year.
We are overrun with wild rabbits presently and they are undermining all our concrete slab outbuildings.

We had python that would have been 10' long and it was stretched out fully sunny itself and it had a bulge about the size of a rugby football at roughly 3' and another bulge at around 5' haven't seen it for a while now, it's either decamped or still digesting those two rabbits.
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Jim

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Re: Some humour from around the World
« Reply #1069 on: April 02, 2026, 06:18:13 pm »
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Jim

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Re: Some humour from around the World
« Reply #1070 on: April 03, 2026, 11:09:16 am »
Happy Easter!

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Re: Some humour from around the World
« Reply #1071 on: April 05, 2026, 03:54:07 pm »
Watched a very good foreign language film last night that was really quite excellent, though I could truly have wish that I'd understood more of what was said in the movie.

The movie's title is "The Dish", which is about an Australian Radio Astronomy Dish near the town of Parkes out in the middle of sheep pastures. The story involves the dish's seminal roll, through various trials and tribulations, in receiving the faint signals from Apollo 11 thus allowing the televised broadcast of Man's first landing and setting foot on the Moon!

Unfortunately, much of the dialog was incomprehensible because it was mostly all in AUSTRALIAN!!!     ;c)
"Information is not knowledge, Knowledge is not wisdom, Wisdom is not truth, Truth is not beauty, Beauty is not love, Love is not music: Music is THE BEST...   
Wisdom is the domain of the Wis (which is extinct). Beauty is a French phonetic corruption of a short cloth neck ornament currently in resurgence..."
F. Zappa ... by way of Mary, the girl from the bus.

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Re: Some humour from around the World
« Reply #1072 on: April 05, 2026, 08:05:40 pm »
Watched a very good foreign language film last night that was really quite excellent, though I could truly have wish that I'd understood more of what was said in the movie.

The movie's title is "The Dish", which is about an Australian Radio Astronomy Dish near the town of Parkes out in the middle of sheep pastures. The story involves the dish's seminal roll, through various trials and tribulations, in receiving the faint signals from Apollo 11 thus allowing the televised broadcast of Man's first landing and setting foot on the Moon!

Unfortunately, much of the dialog was incomprehensible because it was mostly all in AUSTRALIAN!!!    ;c)

 ;D
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Jim

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Re: Some humour from around the World
« Reply #1073 on: April 05, 2026, 08:05:57 pm »
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Re: Some humour from around the World
« Reply #1074 on: April 05, 2026, 08:06:13 pm »
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Jim

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Re: Some humour from around the World
« Reply #1075 on: April 05, 2026, 08:06:30 pm »
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Cheers.
Jim

Blue Heelers Model & Toy Steam Engine Room YouTube Channel -
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Re: Some humour from around the World
« Reply #1076 on: April 05, 2026, 08:06:45 pm »
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Jim

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