Office of Steam Forum for Model & Toy Steam Gas & Hot Air Engines

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A man walks into his local with a full-grown emu behind him. The waitress comes over and asks for their orders.
"I'll have a bacon and egg roll and a flat white." "Same for me," says the emu.
"That'll be $12.50 please."
The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change.
The next day they're back. "I'll have smashed avo on toast and a flat white." "Same for me," says the emu. Again, exact change from his pocket.
This becomes a routine until one Friday night the waitress asks "The usual?" "No, I'll have chips and a schooner of beer." "Same for me," says the emu. The bill comes to $38.40 and yet again exact change.
The waitress can't hold back any longer. "How do you always have the exact change in your pocket?"
"Several years ago I found an old lamp. A genie appeared and granted me two wishes. My first wish was that whenever I needed to pay for anything, the exact money would always be in my pocket."
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Whether it's a meat pie at the servo or a brand-new ute, the exact money is always there."
"But sir what's with the emu?"
The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."

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That might just keep unwanted intrusions by the neighbors, census workers and salespeople out of your yard and way from your door!!!   ;c)

Don't come out of the pub drunk

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At least he didn't paint himself down a dead end. The foreman might wonder where he disappeared to.