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Author Topic: Joke of the Day  (Read 534 times)

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Joke of the Day
« on: April 22, 2021, 01:26:50 pm »
Probably old as...but i just saw it, hadn´t heard it before, and found it funny :)

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it.
Later they get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.”
“I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.”
They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”
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Jan
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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #1 on: April 22, 2021, 01:54:59 pm »
That's a good one, Jan. I must remember that. 👍😂
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Jürgen
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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2 on: April 22, 2021, 05:50:43 pm »
LOL Jan  ;D
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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #3 on: April 22, 2021, 06:36:49 pm »
It seems bear's show up often in the clergy....There once was a pastor of a small country church up "North" that was feeling depression and very non productive in his ministry, to the point he found he could not study or concentrate or prepare the morning service. As Sunday morning arrived and he drove to church he just could not face the coming embarrassment of no service prepared and drove right past the church and kept driving until he was deep in the forest.
  Sitting on a log and enjoying the beauty of nature he began to feel Very guilty for his neglected duty.
  At that moment he spotted a large bear in the wood that also spotted Him!
  He dropped to his knees and closed his eyes tight as the bear began its charge!...and began to pray... "Lord, I will never again neglect my duty...just please let this be a Christian bear!"
  At that very moment he heard a dull but loud thump and grunt....he cautiously opened one eye to see where the previously charging bear was now...the bear was right in front of him and had fallen to its knees... The bear had bowed its head and folded his paws....then the bear grunted "Lord, we thank thee for this meal that thou has set before me"
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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #4 on: April 23, 2021, 04:58:36 am »
LOL. Maybe someone should publish a book with a collection of bear jokes. If it also included a bear on a steam tractor...
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Jürgen
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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #5 on: April 23, 2021, 06:30:44 am »
It WAS a Christian bear!...Lol!
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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #6 on: April 23, 2021, 07:22:40 pm »
Thought we give the clergy a well deserved rest today...but keep the bears.

A beautiful national park was having an unusual amount of bear encounters by humans...such that they felt the need to post warning signs to educate visitors about the dangers of bears.
  The following was taken from an actual sign.
  Visitors are advised of increasing bear activity, both black bears and grizzly bears. Visitors are advised that although bears do not frequently seek human confrontation, they may act adversely if startled by humans. The park advise visitors to attach small bells to hikers garments so the bears may hear the the humans from some distance to avoid confrontational behavior. In addition, visitors are advised to carry pepper spray.
  Visitors are also advised to learn to identify bear scat to know what type of bears are in the area. Black bear scat frequently contains nuts, bugs and berries.


A visitor was reading the sign and looking puzzled...a park Ranger was passing by and asked "Can I help you"?
  The visitor asked:
 How can I identify Grizzly Bear Scat?

The park Ranger said: that's easy!...it often contains tiny bells and smells like Pepper Spray.
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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #7 on: April 24, 2021, 03:33:25 am »
👍👍😂
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Jürgen
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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #8 on: April 24, 2021, 03:43:55 am »
LOL!!!

I might have considered another attraction, after that explanation :D
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Jan
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